I was thinking about my life in a 5 degree angle ..;)

At different points of my life, I had thought about this life as, as useless as a garbage bin. I found nothing, which was worth a look in the life. I never thought that I can ever be happy in a married life.
But now I feel so stupid of myself. If I had not agreed for a marriage!! I can’t imagine.
I feel blessed ... I am enjoying each and every moment of my life with the gifts my LORD has bestowed upon me. My Husband’s love and care, my daughters laugh and play, my parents prayers and love, my sister’s affection and love, my brother’s care..

Akaleyenkilum nin mandahasam njan kaanunnu
Akaleyenkilum nin hrudayaspandanam njan kelkkunnu
Mazhapeythirangunna ee raavil
Ninnnude ormakal ente ullil pranayam viriyikkunnu..

When I closed my eyes, I saw you inside,
When I opened my eyes, I saw you there,
I cant sleep, just because of you
I woke up, just like another day..

Part of me I hate the most

I desperately wanted to scribble something or else my heavy heart will pour the salty water.
This is part of me worrying about nothing. Just nothing. Crying inside. Lost.
I feel alone though everyone is around me
I feel hungry though my stomach is full
I feel lost though i am in a well planned world
I feel cheated though i have a blessed life!
This is part of me,
Not deserving to be part of the world.
I feel like a wilted rose getting crushed under the boots,
thirsty for a single drop of water, for a breath of air..!
No one can help me except HIM, my Lord.
Ohh..this is part of me I hate the most.