May 16th - The day without a name

I dont know how long I will hold the hand he kissed
I dont know how long I will sit like this lost in the moment
I am realising that the smell I hate most is no longer a smell that I hate
I just want to fall into sleep now..this moment

A deep impression has been made on my hand
Sealed with lots of affection
A deep wound has been made on my heart
Sealed with lots of pain

This day is another unforgettable day of my life
I would like to call this day a day of relief
Or should I call this day the day I died?
Or should I call this day the day I never want to happen again?

This is the day without a name
This is the day which just happened
This is the day which is  lost forever
This is the day on which I died.

I was thinking about my life in a 5 degree angle ..;)

At different points of my life, I had thought about this life as, as useless as a garbage bin. I found nothing, which was worth a look in the life. I never thought that I can ever be happy in a married life.
But now I feel so stupid of myself. If I had not agreed for a marriage!! I can’t imagine.
I feel blessed ... I am enjoying each and every moment of my life with the gifts my LORD has bestowed upon me. My Husband’s love and care, my daughters laugh and play, my parents prayers and love, my sister’s affection and love, my brother’s care..

Akaleyenkilum nin mandahasam njan kaanunnu
Akaleyenkilum nin hrudayaspandanam njan kelkkunnu
Mazhapeythirangunna ee raavil
Ninnnude ormakal ente ullil pranayam viriyikkunnu..

When I closed my eyes, I saw you inside,
When I opened my eyes, I saw you there,
I cant sleep, just because of you
I woke up, just like another day..

Part of me I hate the most

I desperately wanted to scribble something or else my heavy heart will pour the salty water.
This is part of me worrying about nothing. Just nothing. Crying inside. Lost.
I feel alone though everyone is around me
I feel hungry though my stomach is full
I feel lost though i am in a well planned world
I feel cheated though i have a blessed life!
This is part of me,
Not deserving to be part of the world.
I feel like a wilted rose getting crushed under the boots,
thirsty for a single drop of water, for a breath of air..!
No one can help me except HIM, my Lord.
Ohh..this is part of me I hate the most.

I dreamt a dream- Feb 2009

I dreamt of traveling through the mystic beauty of the world
I dreamt of whirling deep into the ocean blues
I dreamt of meeting the angels guarding the human beings
I dreamt of talking to the fairies who talks only in the tales
I dreamt of the rarest of rare aliens in those worlds
I dreamt of waking from the sleep of the dead
I dreamt of talking to the souls of the beloveds died so before
I dare to dream….the impossible……
I still dare to dream….

well well... 2 years... pretty long time... was tooo busy.... ha ha ha...
now mother of a baby girl... life has changed a lot. way of thinking has changed. way of living has changed...everything changed.. in short i am not i was...
too busy to think about the life which is the reality.... but sometimes like a flash some pictures will come and go... wont get the time to view it properly...the strong arms of present wipes those dreamy flashes...